American Horror Story Season Two- More Promos!

Watch these new promos for American Horror Story Season Two which will premiere on October 17th! We are looking forward to it already!

Cabin in the Woods Movie Review 258

The Cabin in the Woods is a 2012 horror/sci-fi movie directed by Drew Goddard who wrote episodes of Buffy and Lost and the movie Cloverfield. He wrote this along with Joss Whedon who also produced it.

The movie begins with a group of college students who are going to a cabin in the woods for a holiday. They are Dana(Kristen Connolly), Jules(Anna Hutchison), Curt(Chris Hemsworth), Holden(Jesse Williams) and dope fiend Marty(Fran Kranz). They set off in the usual way and they stop at a run down old gas station and meet a local yokel called Mordecai(Tim De Zarn) who warns them against going any further. They think that he is nuts and continue on their way. We discover that there are people watching the group at a huge facility and two of them in particular are monitoring what goes on. Richard(Richard Jenkins) and Steve(Bradley Whitford) are in control of this operation and it becomes clear that they control everything around the group. They can use drugs and special effects to influence events. They even place bets to see what happens next.

The usual horror movie scenarios occur with people getting killed etc by some undead creature who manages to kill them all except for Dana, the virginal one and Marty, the pot head. Marty finds an elevator which goes down. They have no choice but to take it. They discover that the elevator goes down to a monster prison with every nightmarish creature you can imagine.  Dana and Marty are being chased by armed guards and they have to do something so they release all of the creatures and there is a bloodbath. Richard and Steve die and so do all of the others in the facility.They manage to escape down to a room where they meet the Director(Sigourney Weaver). She explains to them that these operations are necessary to placate the gods who live underneath the facility and demand blood or they will rise and end the world as we know it. Marty has to die or the world will end. He is the last of the group who needs to perish for the operation to be successful. Dana refuses to kill him and the Director is killed by a ghostly girl who was released. Dana and Marty wait for the end of the world as the gods begin to rise...

Just let me get this out there before I start- this movie was just OK. It wasn't great and it wasn't crap. It was in the middle somewhere. There are those who think that the tongue in cheek thing is great and ha ha aren't we so clever laughing at horror movies etc. I'm not one of them. I like my horror to be just that- horror. I understand the plot- I just didn't like it much. I did like the first half of the movie, but it took a nosedive in the second. The ending was bad and I just didn't enjoy it. There were so many nods to classic horror films such as Evil Dead, Hellraiser, The Shining, The Ring, but this film couldn't stand up with them, I'm afraid.It was always going to divide horror fans and those who liked Buffy etc might enjoy this kind of horror film, but for me, I just didn't like the mixing of genres. I am always going to love horror movies ,whether they are based on guy with a knife or monster chasing teens, I still think that horror is the best genre there is. This movie was supposed to comment on how formulaic horror movies are but it was a little too smug for me. I will give it a 5/10.

Hells Kitchen, Season 10, Episode 17

Last week, we said goodbye to Robyn and everyone sighed with relief. Five chefs left now.

The team are laughing and joking because they got rid of Robyn. I have to say that the women's team are a group of horrible people and none of them deserve to win. My pick for winner would be Justin as he has been consistenly good all the way through and he rarely makes many mistakes. The challenge is to make a dish to match Chef Ramsays. But the chefs have to teach some beauty pageant winners how to cook it which is no easy task.Barbie wins the challenge and she gets to take one of her team members with her. She decides to take Justin with her as nobody else likes her.

That night in service, Clemenza is very sloppy and he is not doing too well. He works in a huge mess, but he gets his food out. Barbie hands up a risotto and it is horrible. Chef Ramsay is not impressed. She tells Clemenza to take her next risotto up to Chef Ramsay but he isn't happy with it(watch video above). He does bring it up anyway and Chef Ramsay freaks out. It is horrible. Dana burns her meat. She's not so loud mouthed now.Christina hands up burnt vegetables and Chef Ramsay is amazed that everyone seems to be falling apart. Barbie is still messing up. Her weakness is being shown now. Chef Ramsay is disappointed with them and tells them to pick one person to go home. They can't choose one person. It is between Barbie and Clemenza. Clemenza is sent home.. Four chefs left now and the finale is just around the corner!

American Horror Story Season Two!

We here at Jigsaws lair enjoyed the first season of American Horror Story. It was a new and interesting horror series. There haven't been enough of these kinds of series on TV so this is unique. Now, season two will be coming in October and we are looking forward to it. It will be completely different from the first and as far as I can tell, it will be set in an asylum.Bring it on!!!Watch the teasers and enjoy!

Hells Kitchen, Season 10, Episode 16

 

Last time, Brian left the kitchen so there are six chefs left.

This week, the remaining chefs are celebrating getting their black jackets. They are all laughing and joking and you know that that isn't going to last long. Their challenge this week is to recreate a dish that Chef Ramsay has made. They have to guess what is in it and the winner will be the two person team who come closest to it. Clemenza and Dana win the challenge and get to relax at the beach. The others have to clean the dining room. That night, they are told before service that they will be competing against the runners up from some of the past Hells Kitchen seasons(watch video above).

Service begins and the runners up team are doing very well. Robyn(pictured above) messes up a simple salad and she has to re make it.Robyn and Clemenza are cooking dishes that aren't even on order. Dana needs help on the fish station and Clemenza tries to help, but he messes it up. She can't even ask people to help and Chef Ramsay tells her that she can't control Clemenza. She asks Robyn to help her instead. Robyn can't help her much either as she messes up too. Chef Ramsay takes Dana aside to talk to her. He tells her that she should take responsibility for her station. The runners up team wins service and the black team have to choose two people to send home. They choose Robyn and Clemenza. Robyn gets sent home and everyone is happy...

V/H/S Movie Review 257

 

V/H/S is a 2012 horror movie anthology and has a few directors such as Ti West and Adam Wingard. It is filmed documentary style.

The main story which runs through the movie is about three criminals who do all sorts of illegal jobs for money. An unknown person sends them to a remote house to locate a video tape which is very rare. While hunting for it, they discover a cache of video tapes and they begin to watch them, but they are not ready for what appears on the tapes...

Amateur Night is the first story and it tells the tale of a group of young guys, Shane(Mike Donlan), Patrick(Joe Sykes) and Clint(Drew Sawyer) who are on a night out and who want to get with some women.

They are staying in a hotel room so there are many possibilities of hooking up for them. They meet some women and Clint is wearing web cam glasses to film the events of the evening. He meets an odd looking woman called Lily(Hannah Fierman) who goes back to their hotel room with him. Another girl comes too but she passes out. Clint is nervous and when the other two guys want a threesome with Lily, he isn't too sure. She doesn't like Patrick so she bites his hand. She has sex with Shane, but it soon turns out that she is some sort of vampire creature and she kills him . The others see this and hide in the bathroom. She kills Patrick next but shows an attraction to Clint who is repulsed. He tries to escape from her but she follows him. When he gives her the brush off, she develops wings and flies off with him into the night and his camera glasses drop to the ground.

Second Honeymoon is the second tale and it is about a couple Sam(Joe Swanberg) and Stephanie(Sophia Takal) who are vacationing. They go to a fortune telling machine and it gives Stephanie a card telling her that she will be visited by a loved one.  That night some weird girl calls to their hotel room looking for a lift but Sam doesn't give her one. The next night, someone enters their hotel room and stabs Sam in the neck killing him. It turns out that Stephanie has a lesbian lover and it is the girl who called to their room. She killed Sam and now she and Stephanie head off together.

Tuesday 17th is about a killer who lives in the woods. Four pals go camping and the killer gets them one by one. One girl is left and it turns out that she was the only survivor of a killing spree by the killer years ago. She had used her friends as bait to lure the killer and kill him. It backfires on her and she ends up being the victim of the killer.

The Sick Thing that Happened to Emily When she was Younger is a strange tale of a woman called Emily(Helen Rogers)who chats online via web cam with a man . They seem to be having a romantic relationship. She thinks that she sees ghosts of children in her apartment and he tells her to close her eyes and he will lead her around and see if there is anything. She sees the children and they pounce on her. She is knocked out and the man appears to help them take out a fetus from her. Then he makes it look at is she was involved in an accident. He talks to her later on and she tells him that she visited a doctor who told her that the visions were all in her head and that she walked out in front of a car, hence her injuries. The guy moves onto his next victim.

The last story is called 10/31/98 and is about a group of guys who visit a house thinking that there is a Halloween party being held. They look around and see that there is something weird about the house. They go up to the attic and see a young woman being tortured by a group of men who think that she is evil or something like that.They are a cult and she is their sacrifice. The guys can't put up with it and they rescue her only to find out that she is evil and she moves their car onto a train tracks and here comes the train..

The movie ends with the guys in the house getting killed by an old man who was living in the house. They thought that he was dead....

I liked the first story a lot, but some of the others weren't great in my opinion. The last two were poor and I really didn't like them at all.I know that this movie has gotten good reviews and I had high hopes for this film.It started very well but it went downhill near the end and I had had enough of it. All in all, it was a good watch until the end so if you are into anthology type movies, this is for you. The hand held camera thing got to me too as there was a lot of spinning around and I had a headache at the end of it. It could have been great, but it was okay. I am giving it a 6/10.

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Night Ripper Movie Review 256

 Night Ripper is a 1986 thriller/horror movie directed by Jeff Hathcock and starring Larry Thomas.

Models are getting murdered by a maniac who stalks them and then kills them. A photographer, David,takes photographs of models and he meets one who he likes. She is called Jill. He has a fiancee called Karen. When another model is killed, the police call David in for questioning. He had taken pictures of her before her death. His boss Mitch(Larry Thomas) is there too. He is a weirdo and he talks about the murders a lot.Also there is a friend of David's called Janet and she is a lesbian. This film is beyond cheap but it was mildly entertaining. There were some obvious pointers to the killer early on and I guess we were meant to think that it was Mitch, but it wasn't.

This film dragged in parts and the acting isn't great at all. There is an okay story but I think that it focuses too much on trying to fool you into believing that the killer is someone else and you just realise there isn't much to this film. I guessed that the killer was Janet earlier on and she has some story about a model ex girlfriend who she can't forget and that is why she stalks and kills models. It just seemed a silly ending. All in all, I wouldn't watch this one again. If you like cheap B movies, then this is for you. I'm giving it a 3/10.

Hells Kitchen, Season 10, Episode 14 and 15

Last episode, we said goodbye to Tiffany. Now, the competition is hotting up as eight chefs battle it out to win Hells Kitchen.

Episode 14

 

Kimmy is upset because her pal Tiffany has gone home and she is upset over it. She wants Barbie out. The next challenge is about Southern cuisine. Kimmy is in her element, being from the South. They have to cook classic Southern dishes and Chef Ramsay invites some judge to oversee it. The blue team loses. The red team go off for their reward and the blue team have to churn butter and make bread and prepare everything for that nights service. Kimmy is under pressure as she is supposed to be good at Southern cuisine. She wants to do really well, but she is nervous. Brian is having trouble on the fish station. On the red team. Kimmy burns her food and she is having a meltdown. Brian disappoints yet again and he is really starting to sink. He gives a smart answer to Chef Ramsay and gets kicked out of the kitchen(watch video above). He eventually goes back and tries to redeem himself.

Robyn hands up raw chicken and she gets yelled at too. Barbie hands up horrible garnish and everyone wants her out. Robyn can't believe that her chicken is raw a second time and they are all thrown out for being crap. Upstairs, the blue team start fighting over what went wrong. Kimmy totally messes up her fish and there are no excuses this time. The red team end up being thrown out too. There is no winning team so they have to choose one person on each team to go home. Red team pick Kimmy(pictured above) for obvious reasons and the blue team want Robyn out. Kimmy gets sent home.Right decision.

Episode 15

There are seven chefs left!The red team are chatting about losing Kimmy. There is just the horrible Dana, Christina and the nasty Barbie left. Dana and Christina don't want Barbie at all. The challenge the next morning is for the chefs to cook in a relay team. They have to work together. The two teams screw it up and there is no winner. They have to clean up etc. Everyone is moaning as usual. That night in service, Christina isn't doing very well. Clemenza is having a hard time with his orders. He is getting loads of risotto orders at once and he is falling behind. Barbie tries to help Christina and Dana but they fob her off. They don't want her to help. Brian lets his team down again with raw meat. He is really slipping. Robyn messes up and tries to blame the other three on her team(watch video above). Justin gets yelled at which is unusual as he is pretty good.

Barbie impresses with her meat. Brian(pictured above) is on his last legs with his food. He is really on the way out the door already. He has had enough chances. Chef Ramsay brings Barbie over from the red team to take over his station. The black jackets are out and the three members of the red team are given theirs. One person from the blue team will not get one. That person turns out to be Brian. He is sent home. He just couldn't keep it together. We are down to the final six so it will be very interesting to see who rises to the top!

Creep Van Movie Review 255

Creep Van is a 2012 horror movie directed by Scott W.McKinlay and starring Brian Kolodziej and Amy Wehrell.

The story in this film is pretty easy to explain. A weirdo in an old van goes around killing people for no reason. His van is shabby and weird looking. Anyone who approaches it ends up dead. A young man called Campbell(Kolodziej) is working at a car wash and he sees the creep van which is for sale. He is interested in buying it and he decides that he will call the number later. Meanwhile, a woman calls the number for the van and meets the owner who kills her in it. The creep van is on the prowl and anyone who crosses its path meets a sticky end. The movie cuts between Campbell working at the car wash to the creep van getting more victims.

Campbell strikes up a friendship with a co worker called Amy(Wehrell) and they spend time together. There is a customer who comes to the car wash called Swami Ted(Collin Bernsen) and he and Campbell almost get knocked down by the creep van. Campbell had called up about the van and the guy on the phone had threatened him so Campbell told him to stick his van. Now, it seems as if the creep van is after him. He manages to look inside it and he finds a letter. He has to run when the creep comes back. The creep drives into Campbell's brothers house and kills him. A detective looks into the case. The end result is that Campbell kills the creep with Swami Teds help but the creep has set him up to make it look like he owns the van. The letter that Campbell took is the deed to the van which is in his name. The cops come and arrest him and he goes to jail.

This film was bad. The acting was awful and the story just went  ten different ways which was annoying after a while. On the plus side, the creep van idea was good and there were some decent kills in it. I wasn't crazy about the ending, but all in all, it was just OK. I wouldn't watch it again. I will give it a 3/10.