Splatter Farm (1987)Movie Review

Splatter Farm is a 1986 horror film directed by John and Mark Polonia and Todd Smith and stars the same three guys.

A guy is dismembering a body. He uses the severed hand to masturbate. Two guys Joseph(John Polonia) and his brother Alan(Mark Polonia) are visiting their Aunt Lacey. She has a farmhand living with her called Jeremy (Smith), who just happens to be a killer. He has dead bodies in the barn. He is a total weirdo. Aunt Lacey is weird too. Jeremy is claiming victims all over the place.

Jeremy dances around with a skin mask on . Aunt Lacey knows all about it and is messing around with her husband's corpse. Of course, Jeremy killed him.Alan and Joseph look around the farm and find a bloody boot. They run to the house to call the police. The phone isn't working. Aunt Lacey drugs and sleeps with Alan. Joseph finds a human skull and tells Alan.They try to leave but the car won't start. Alan goes to sleep and Joseph talks to Jeremy who hits him. He drags him off and ties him up and tortures him.

Joseph is stabbed and buried alive. Next day, Alan looks for his brother. He asks Jeremy, who just smiles. Alan finds Joseph's glasses and fears the worst. Jeremy shoots him. Aunt Lacey tells him that Jeremy is the result of rape by her brother. Jeremy gets angry and kills her too. The movie ends with him dancing around. Let me just say that I have enjoyed many low budget films. I like them, but this is something else. I know it's not a professionally made movie but it is so bad that it stinks. There is nothing about this that I like. The acting is woeful. There is no story. It is just so bad that it was hard to sit through it . The filmmakers might not have had much of a budget but that is no excuse for such a bad movie. 1/10.

Carnifex (2022) Movie Review

Trailer here.

Carnifex is a 2022 Australian horror movie directed by Sean Lahiff and starring Alexandra Park, Harry Greenwood, Sisi Stringer and Darren Gilshenan.

There are bushfires in the outback. Something is frightening the animals in the area. It is some sort of creature. There are cameras there. Three people are making a documentary on the wildlife and the effects of the bushfire. Ben(Greenwood) is a biologist. He has Bailey(Park) who is a filmmaker and Grace(Stringer) who is also a biologist with him.They meet Matt(Gilshenan) who is a park ranger. The three head off into the wilderness. They are putting camers around to keep an eye on the animals. There is a hunter out at night shooting kangaroo. He hears something moving around in the trees. He goes to investigate and gets killed. 

The group retrieve their cameras. They decide to walk in the forest . Ben calls birds but there are none which is unusual. They discover one of the cameras which has been knocked down. They also find animal remains. They look at the camera footage. Something weird is on it. They think it might be some kind of feral animal. They call the park ranger and tell him. He goes to meet them. Bailey finds scratches on a tree. It looks like claw marks. Ben and Grace set trps to lure the creatuee out. Matt finds the hunters camp and looks around. Ben thinks that it might be a carnifex which is an extinct creature. Grace doesn't believe it. Matt ends up meeting it and he dies. The others wonder where he went. The carnifex shows up and the group see it. Grace and Ben are delighted.

Their delight doesn't last long as they both get attacked by the creature. Bailey is alone and gets to the car. She tries to hide from the creature. Ben finds himself in a tree. He is injured, as is Grace. Ben gets eaten by it. It wants Grace next. She manages to find Bailey and the two go to find Ben but it is too late. They get back to the car and try and escape. The car gets stuck and they can't go. Bailey shines a light and she hits it. It drags her off. They have a shotgun with one shot left in it. Grace shoots it and it runs off. The survivors head off. 

This is a fun creature feature. There is lots of action and it is good overall. The ending is a little flat but it is an interesting tale. I will give it a 5/10.