Star Quest- The Odyssey Movie Review 130

Star Quest- The Odyssey is a science fiction movie directed by Jon Bonnell and written by Carlos Perez. No, I do not know who they are! It stars Adam Rini as a Captain Jack Tanner who is basically a copy of James T. Kirk but with a title like Star Quest, it's obvious this is a copy of Star Trek! This is very low budget sci-fi so you will see lots of things stuck to walls to make them look futuristic!!

The story for what it's worth is about the Odyssey which is the ship heading back to Earth after a war has finished and is now just for exploration. The war that has finished was between the humans and he Chrome or was it Krone, I'm not too sure! They are basically cyborgs and a cross between The Borg and Klingons! They snarl and love to fight but they are big guys with wires strapped to them!! The opening title sequence is well done and tells the tale of what the future is now like. Then we go into a hilariously bad fist fight and things go on from there. If you read the threads and user comments on IMDB for this, you would think the movie makers were shooting the new Star Trek movie as people really expect too much for a low budget movie. That being said, Star Quest is very bad and seems to shoot itself in the foot.

For a shoestring budget, some things are okay. The story is a copy of the pilot of Star Trek- Voyager and the bridge of the Odyssey looks quite good. The make up effects are okay once you get past the wires hanging out of a guy to make him look like a cyborg! The animation inserts showing the ship in space are well done but allo a sudden seem to just freeze now and then. So, after a promising opening sequence, we get a ropey fist fight then dodgy CGI. You could live with that until the Captain visits the engineer who is looking at the hyper drive. He quite literally pulls a bolt put of the hyper drive that has gotten loose! Then he says a washer has gone missing! Later they pick up a signal from a planet and investigate. This is very like the original Star Trek as they walk around a desert with bushes. They find a monolith that talks to them in a hilariously bad computer voice. After they get threatended by it, they destroy it and while using their hyper drive they get caught in a Supernova. They are now far from home and get threatened by a huge compass in space! The second officer says " I didn't think it could get much worse" and the Captain replies "It looks like it just did." This is one of the most unintentionally funny ends ever!!!

Sci Fi is hard to do and it is hard to get it looking even half way decent on a low budget. This is why I sort of like Star Quest. They tried and a few things were okay but they let themselves down in a lot of areas. A quick look at the script would have sorted these out and it's a shame. The hyper drive missing a bolt and washer is very silly and the  CGI just needed a bit more effort to lighten it up. This is a movie that is begging for the Mystery Science Theater 3000 treatment! In the end credits, there are some funny out takes and the whole movie is only 81 minutes long. Only if you  love sci fi and Star Trek would you even be able to get through this movie! It's a movie that is so bad that it's good. They give special thanks in the credits to Gene Roddenberry so it is obviously a homage to him and Star Trek., Watch this one with friends and a few drinks and I bet you will have a good laugh. This is a bad movie but something about it made me like it a small bit. I cannot really recommend it but in saying that I have seen worse movies. The ideas of a hyper drive missing a bolt and washer makes me laugh ever time I think about it!!!!As a sci fi movie it gets 3/10 but for comedy a 6/10.

Star Trek's Deleted Scene Revealed!!!!!!

When JJ Abrams was finishing up his final cut of Star Trek, there were some scenes that he thought were good at the time but on reflection maybe they were not great.Fortunately as I am in regular contact with people in the know and with access, I have received a deleted scene from Star Trek.It is actually before Zachary Quinto was cast and Abrams was going to make Spock more like Tuvok.Footage isn't great but bear in mind this was erased and deleted originally but using the power of technology we are able to undo the erase and the result is as follows.You can clearly see the budget had not kicked in at this time and it was young Spock letting off steam when he is away from the academy.Ever wonder what he did on his downtime?? Maybe you thought he read books?? Studied Starfleet engineering?? Well no....................he let his human flamboyant side take over!!! Data liked classical music but Spock's interest lied more with the Jacksons.Does he sit quietly in meditation?? No!!!! He goes full blast and lets his human side take over!! He dances like he has never danced before!! And judging from the video, maybe he HAS never danced before!!!

Star Trek Movie Review 24

Star Trek is a movie about...well, surely you know what it's about! A ship, the split infinitive,come on, ring any bells??? Well, this is J.J.Abrams new baby and as I am a big fan of his show 'Lost', I had high hopes for this reboot. It features Chris Pine as a young Kirk, Sylar as Spock...oh, I mean Zachary Quinto as Spock!!!! Karl Urban is Bones,Zoe Saldana is Uhura, Simon Pegg is Scotty, John Cho is Sulu and Anton Yelchen is Chekov. Bruce Greenwood is Pike so I was just waiting for him to be in a black wheelchair with a flashing light! If you don't know what that means you must not be a Trek fan! Be warned..there are spoilers ahead!!

Leonard Nimoy is in it and he plays Lieutenant Uhura in drag which was a surprising casting choice and a brave role for Nimoy to take on. Abrams made Bones the captain of the Enterprise which seemed strange to me! Okay, okay......Nimoy plays Spock and Kirk is still the captain so you can relax! It starts promisingly enough with a Federation ship under attack and we learn that Shatner's dad.. I mean, Kirk's dad is on board and of course, he dies saving the rest of the crew just as James T. Kirk is being born! We find out that a Romulan named Nero is looking for Spock and he doesn't want logic lessons! Nero is played by Eric Bana and he is not fond of Vulcans so he wants to kill them all. We then cut to Kirk growing up and he drives fast cars while being chased by a motorcycle cop who flies. Incidentally, this reminded me of Galactica 1980 where the guys from the ship have flying motorcycles. But back to the movie....

Young Spock is growing up also and he gets bullied as his mother is a human so he is only half- Vulcan. His mother is played by Winona "shoplifter" Ryder which for some reason I found odd!
Spock's mother was a shoplifter? Say it ain't so, Spock! Then we see Chris Pine playing Kirk and he has grown up to be a cool, but slightly arrogant guy. He not only chats up a young Uhura but he feels her up also. Say it ain't so, Kirk! Shatner would never have let this happen.......Good thing for Kirk that Pike sees something in him and urges him to enlist in Starfleet. Of course, he says no, but turns up when the new recruits leave. Here he meets Bones(Urban) who does a brilliant job as McCoy. Three years whizz by in the time it takes to put up the caption and Kirk is taking the Kobayashi Maru test again. As we all know,or at least, fans will know, Kirk wins by reprogramming the test. As he defends himself by arguing with Spock, they get urgently called away so we can finally get some real action!

Weirdly,Spock is having a relationship with Uhura, she has a first name and Kirk only gets aboard the Enterprise by being smuggled by Bones. Say it ain't so, Uhura!!! Sulu and Chekov are at the helm but of course, Kirk realises that it is a trap set by Nero. He runs onto an ipod-inspired bridge and makes everyone see the dayglo light! Sulu, Kirk and a red shirt land on a drill that Nero is using on the planet Vulcan but of course, in Star Trek tradition, the red shirt dies!

Sulu gets to have a fight so that is good and he also saves Kirk. I did notice a mistake at the time of watching this where Kirk is hanging onto a ledge with his right hand, yet gets pulled up by his right hand so it was a poor mistake. Unfortunately, Nero creates a black hole on Vulcan and Spock heads down to save the Vulcan Elders and his parents. Meanwhile, Sulu and Kirk are falling in mid-air but Chekov saves them by teleporting them to the ship. A few seconds later, he can't save Spock's mother from the same fate. This is another mistake and this is more of a glaring plot hole though it proves that bad things happen if you shoplift!!

Uhura cheers Spock up with a kiss and a cuddle and this seemed so wrong to me! The planet Vulcan disappears into the black hole that Nero created and he puts a parasite into Pike's mouth which seemed like Fear Factor!! After an argument, Spock jettisons Kirk in an escape pod which seemed really silly as surely he would just put him in the brig. I sensed a plot device to get something unusual shoehorned into the story.Sure enough,on the planet/moon, is Old Spock, played by Nimoy. He explains that he was trying to save the Romulans from an exploding star in the future but he and Nero got pulled into a black hole. As Spock didn't save Romulus, Nero would destroy all Federation planets in a dastardly revenge!!!! Spock and Kirk head over to a Starfleet outpost that is conveniently nearby. Why didn't Spock go there himself before this? When they get there, they meet Scotty. He is played by Simon Pegg who I thought was awful. He didn't have the accent right and didn't fit the part. Happily, Spock reveals Kirk can take over the Enterprise if he gets young Spock angry. This is a Starfleet regulation '619' or to non- Starfleet people, a handy plot loophole 619! It means that if the captain is emotionally compromised, he has to step down from command.Surely this is a reference to the WWE's Rey Mysterio who does the 619.If you do not watch wrestling then ignore the last sentence!!!

Kirk and Scotty beam back aboard the Enterprise and of course, Kirk bugs Spock so he steps down and Kirk is the captain!! Another plot device success!!! Spock has his confidence crisis but after a chat with his dad, he is on the team! He gets some t.l.c. from Uhura before he and Kirk beam to Nero's ship. Spock takes future Spock's ship(are you following this???) while Kirk fights Nero.Spock destroys Nero's drill so he will have to visit his local DIY store again...Kirk doesn't actually fight Nero as such, he gets knocked down by another Romulan and then Nero beats him up.Only when Nero hears that his drill is destroyed does he let Kirk go. Kirk didn't even throw a punch and no trademark drop-kick! Kirk runs away when faced with another Romulan and nearly falls off another ledge. He shoots the Romulan but this is when I realised that new Kirk is a wimp! Shatner's Kirk would never run away from a fight! Say it ain't so, Kirk!

Kirk saves Pike as Spock is flying his ship into Nero's ship. Scotty beams Spock off before he hits it. They shoot at Nero's ship as it slips into the black hole and it is destroyed. The Enterprise is slipping into the hole too but Scotty ignites the Warp Drive Reactor Cores ( as you do!) and the explosion pushes them clear of the hole. The movie ends with Kirk taking over as captain of the Enterprise and a few metres away is Future Spock. How he strolls around Starfleet without authorisation I'll never know!! He gives the voice over at the end.

How good Star Trek is will depend on where you are coming from. If you love Star Trek and eat up anything to do with it, then you will love this. On the other hand, if you love Star Trek, but like continuity and things linking up with previous Star Treks, then you will be disappointed. I am in this camp. If you just want a nice action movie, you should be happy enough. Zachary Quinto and Chris Pine are great in this but the character of Kirk ends up being a wimp. He gets saved by others and he doesn't fight himself. The love affair between Spock and Uhura felt very weird and Simon Pegg was miscast as Scotty. The other members of the crew were good too. The temporal directive went out the window here as now there is a whole new timeline set up. I didn't like this idea and I have to say it reminded me of 90210 in space at times.

In saying that, the movie is still enjoyable and is worth watching. The biggest omission by far is William Shatner and either he or the captain of the ship should be doing the voice over, not Spock. It all feels so near yet so far with a lot of things great, but a long wrong also. I'm hoping if they make another movie with these actors, John De Lancie, a.k.a. 'Q' will show up to put things right! Mon Capitaine, say it ain't so!!

Star Trek (5/10)

Triumph the Insult Comic Dog

Triumph the Insult Comic Dog is a puppet character that appears on NBC's Late Night with Conan O'Brien and is absolutely hilarious with his put-downs and mocking of any people that he meets.He goes to conventions and talks to people there and mocks celebrities also.Its really basic puppetry behind Triumph but thats the whole point! The whole thing is meant to make you laugh and it always works with me!!!! If you dont find this funny then you may have lost your sense of humour totally so I would go get checked out if I were you!!!!! Here he was at the Star Wars premiere of Attack of the Clones...........He met a geek from another dimension and Spock showed up!!!!!!! No not Leonard Nimoy!

Here he was at Comic-Con and met all types from games and comics.I especially love the Cylon suit from Battlestar Gallactica.The real old BSG not the new one!!!!!!! He met a character from GI Joe and Pokemon and I never knew the Joker carried a backpack! The Wolverine guy at the end is a very funny skit!!!!!



Then here he meets the nutters and hardcore supporters of Michael Jackson when he was on trial.They were the guys that were camped outside pledging their loyalty to him and it was definitely like a media circus.Who better then to show up but Triumph the Insult Comic Dog!!!

Star Trek Movie Trailer

I was deeply embedded in my lair a few weeks ago when from a secret entrance that few know about entered one of my many agents.My security camera took a picture as he came in though.He was heavily camouflaged and had been deep in the field carrying out important missions.He was tired yet he had urgent news.Taking off his armour and helmet he sat down in front of me.He laid one of his many guns on the table before me and said his latest mission had been a complete success.He proceeded to inform me of what happened.

It was an infiltration that had taken him deep into enemy territory.On the mission he had brought with him all his lock picking tools and his cunning.On entering this secret facilty undetected he connected up his electronic equipment and using his exceptional hacking skills to access top secret data he had downloaded the information!! From a hidden side pocket he handed me a memory card with a copy on it.It was the latest Star Trek Movie trailer!!!! It has since been leaked to this website

http://www.startrekmovie.com/

The agent quickly gathered up his belongings and with a tip of his helmet exited as silently as he came in.Who was this man?

He is none other than Lt. Colonel Creedon. Few pics of his face are available of him but there is one of him receiving his many medals here on the left!

For security reasons I have been only able to tell this tale now but now you know where the trailer came from!!!!!!!!!!!!