Shut Up And Drive [Review: Hope]
2 days ago
Step into my lair and enjoy....


We begin at the end of the last movie. Ash(Campbell) fell from the sky and he was surrounded by an army.They are afraid of him and they take him as a prisoner. He is taken to the Pit to be killed along with other prisoners. He is in medieval England and he has been captured by Lord Arthur (Marcus Gilbert). He is suspected of being one of Duke Henry's men. Duke Henry(Richard Grove) has been captured alongside him. They watch as one poor man is thrown into the Pit and is killed. It is Ash's turn next and he is toppled into it. He sees a demon at the bottom of it and he fights it when the Wise Man(Ian Abercrombie) throws him his weapons. He is hailed as a hero by the people and they are afraid of him.He lets Duke Henry and his men go. He gets great treatment after that from everyone and he even gets some loving from a gal called Sheila(Embeth Davidtz).
He talks to the Wise Man about getting home and he tells Ash that he needs the Necronomicon to get back. He sets off to try and get it. The evil is present in the woods and he flees to an old windmill for shelter. The evil tries to get in, but he blocks it.He breaks a mirror and the reflections of himself come out of it and they try to kill him with hilarious results. These scenes are very funny and he tries to kill them one by one. One of them jumps down Ash's throat and they cause an evil Ash to be created. They fight and Ash manages to kill it and bury it. He sets off on his quest again. He comes to a graveyard and finds the book. But, there are three copies. He has to choose one of them so he opens the first one. He gets sucked into a vortex, but manages to escape. The second book bites his hand . He comes to the third one and he tries to remember the words that the Wise Man told him to say when he got to the book. He mumbles the words and he thinks that he has gotten away with it.He grabs the book and he goes back to the castle.
Sheila wakes up and she is back to herself. Ash decides to go home and the Wise Man gives him a potion to help him. He goes to a cave and he seals himself in. He is supposed to drink six drops so that he will arrive in his own time, but he takes more and when he awakens and looks outside, he is faced with the world after a nuclear disaster. He is the only one left.....I know that this is not the theatrical ending, but this is the one I saw and it is better than the other ending, I think. I liked this a lot and it was very funny. It is a pity that his new movie, Drag Me To Hell, which I reviewed here, is not as good. This movie was everything I like about horror movies and I would watch it again. It gets an 8/10 from me!

Have you seen this video? My main focus here in the Lair is movies,tv and books but I like to give my opinions on anything happening in the world sometimes.It seems the annointed one has no time for anyone bothering him!! This shows what happens when anything threatens to take away President Obamas airtime.Just like a movie set where reality is hidden, in Obamas perfect world flies dont make the cut.They might even dare to land on him and ruin any one of his many perfect pictures and photo opportunities. My feeling is this won't be the last of Obamas many harmful effects on the world with his main effect being the american economy.He has raised its debt and raised its unemployment but I'd say he won't stop there.Here in Ireland, anything bad for America effects us even more intensely so I hope I'm wrong but when you elect someone with no experience you cannot be surprised when bad things happen!!! 
The movie begins with a biker gang looking for one of their crew. She is Ana and they think that she has run off with their stash. They find her and torture her then at the bidding of some Manson-esque guy called Satahn(get it?). He is some kind of leader to the chicks and they do whatever he wants..He is always speaking to them in echoes so he comes across as some kind of spiritual leader( but he is just some saddo....) So Ana is being tortured because she broke the psycho's rule and she doesn't seem to mind her toes being cut. The Manson wannabe watches her and the others laugh really loudly which is probably because the blood doesn't even look real!!! Anyway, they end the torture and she is one of the gang again!
So, we cut to the airport where some poor guy is washing his hands when he is attacked by a woman and stabbed(more really fake blood!). We don't know why. It isn't explained and the person leaves their coat at the crime scene!Hmm. Anyway, we cut to a couple of people coming off of a plane. They are Terri London, who is an actress and Max Marsh, her agent(?). They are going to be shooting a movie in South America. Terri keeps complaining about the heat and Max just wants to get into her knickers! They arrive at a house where Terri will be staying and she wants to go to sleep so Max leaves her alone. Her phone rings and she asks for some guy called Horst! She chats to him and he tells her that he will be with her in two hours. Horst has some chick called Angelina with him and he tells her of his meeting. Horst sets off to meet Terri and they kiss etc.
Cut back to Satahn who is looking more like David Koresh this time. He is telling Angelina that she has to get close to Horst and Terri and they chat about Terri getting pregnant and having a baby and then they will kill it. It's his grand plan - couldn't he come up with something better? Angelina loves him and she will do whatever he wants so they frolic in dodgy looking water and then the others show up! It's a free for all!!! At this stage, I was tempted to turn the movie off because it seemed really cheesy and silly, but I was waiting for something to happen...Horst and Terri are in bed together chatting and Horst tells her that she doesn't need to make nudie pictures with Max but she tells him that she needs her dignity(!) and she needs her independence so she will prance around with her boobs on show if she likes! Then, we find out that Terri is pregnant and that Angelina will have to move out of Horst's place. The plot in this movie is all over the place and there is no set plot lines.
Anyway, Max is gotten rid of by Angelina so he won't stand in the way of Terri and Horst having a child together. Terri is then seen frolicking in the pool afterwards. Poor Max wasn't missed. The cops asked Terri some questions, but then decided that she was okay and that there was nothing suspicious about it. The cop could only string a few words together anyway, so it's okay. Terri meets Horst's dad and they chat etc. Satahn shows up with some cryptic words and leaves. The gals are torturing each other again. Satahn comes in to the warehouse they call home and stops them. Angelina is in the gang. They go robbing and killing people. Angelina then tells Satahn her sob story and they bond(aahhh). So, they are ordered to slaughter everyone, including the pregnant Terri(reminds me of the Manson killings!) at Horst's place. They find a few people there and they kill them all..Then, the movie stops and we find out that it wasn't real at all.. There are cameras filming it..We are in a movie within a movie. Then some poor girl is attacked and murdered for our viewing pleasure. Is it real? Is it fake? It's FAKE!!!
This movie was very badly made and the acting was laughable. It was actually funny because it is so bad. I didn't think that I could sit through the whole thing and then the ending was the only decent part of it, but that's not saying much. If you like a really cheesy, cheap, silly movie, then this is it. It will make you laugh anyway and that is something...I am giving this a 4/10.
In the video above is the absolutely brilliant pre-opening credits scene from The Office Season 5 Episode 13 called "Stress Relief".The highly planned fired drills that were practiced go out the window when Dwight sets up a small fire and does not tell the rest of the office that it is not real!! Absolute pandemonium as it is every man or woman for himself! The cameras get run over in the chaos,Oscar climbs up into the ceiling,Angela takes out her cat that is hidden in a drawer,Michael smashes a window with a chair,Kevin loots the canteen snacks after smashing it open and Jim and Andy try to use the photocopier to smash open a door!!! Oscar falls through the ceiling getting stuck halfway and Dwight lights firecrackers!! Andy shouts "The fire is shooting at us" before Dwight admits it was all just a drill.Oscar drops down from above and Stanley then collapses with a heart attack as they all try to help him.
This opening scene was one of the funniest ever and will go down as a classic! Next time you do a fire drill just think of this and what can really happen! The Office is a show that seems to get better and better with each episode and this episode proves it.If you have not seen it yet then try to catch it soon as it is very funny.Michael and Dwight get called to main office where Michael ingeniously turns the tables and acts like a head manager giving Dwight a small penalty instead of firing him!! When Stanley gets back from the hospital Michael decides to have a CPR class as "he knew exactly what to do but in a much more real sense he had no idea what to do" That is a very funny line from a boss in denial!!! When they do the CPR class they cannot pump the dummies chest in proper time but when told to pump to the tune of the BeeGee's song Staying Alive an impromptu sing song begins! Each singing badly and it is hilarious! As in theory the dummy has died, Dwight carves it up looking for the heart to give to an organ donor and then carves off the face of the dummy putting it on his face! Obviously a reference to Silence of the Lambs!!
Due to this Michael decides to hold a roast in honour of himself so everyone can say what they want to Michael! Of course everyone gets up and makes fun of him and it all gets out of hand! Andy rounds it off with a song on his guitar about what he hates about Michael.Michael as usual did not expect all the hate and staggers out the door! He does not show up to work the next day and some people think he may be dead! He is not dead and cameras reveal him to be at a children's playground throwing out bread! He thinks he is in a park!! Dwight fools Phyllis into signing for a package and she was the last signature that he needed on his letter of regret so he is happy! Andy is then shown crying at the end of the movie that has a very funny scene with Jack Black!!! Then Pam says to Jim that her dad is leaving her mother due to Jim saying he loves Pam so much and that her father does not have that type of love with Pam's mother.
Michael arrives back at the office with little roasts of everyone written down.He runs through them all and Stanley begins to laugh with all the put downs.Then everyone laughs at the jokes so Michael's goal of stress relief is achieved and all is well in the office again! The end scene of Jack Black's very old lover cheating on him was brilliant too! This show has got to be one of the best comedies on TV at the moment and yet again this was a great episode.From the fire drill to the CPR scenes and to the roast, it was all very funny.This episode lasted 41 Min's and I think was a special Superbowl episode as it normally would not be that long.Another hilarious episode! What did you think of it????
Religulous is Bill Mahers new movie about Religion.It is directed by Larry Charles who directed Seinfeld,Borat and Curb your Enthusiasm.Bill Maher is the host of Real Time with Bill Maher and is someone who I think is a great stand up comedian or social commentator whichever you think is more appropriate! I usually agree with him except when he goes on and on about how Bush is the worst guy in the world.Maybe he is but I think talking about it non stop is silly.You may or may not have seen Bill Maher:The Decider but in that, all he talked about was how Bush was bad.It gets really boring after a while! In Religulous his focus is on religion and I was a bit worried before I saw this that it might be over the top mocking of religion.It's OK to say what you think but mocking other peoples beliefs can be very off putting.
I am happy to say that in this he did not come across as mocking every religion.He asks questions about each one to their believers and tries to find out why they believe in what they do.A lot of people have their mind made up before they see a documentary so I think it is good to try and stay open minded before you see one.I was worried about what he would say to people but he was just asking questions and not getting in people's faces.It is interesting to see people really devoted to their religion that they cannot answer questions.Mind you, only one person that I remember walked out of the interview so I suppose it is not too bad.He talked to one guy who was gay but now is married to a former lesbian as they both found God.They now have kids and Bill wondered were they still gay but they said they were not.It seemed like the guy was just saying it and did not believe it but if they are happy that's the main thing!
There were some great laugh out loud moments especially when a senator says you do not have to pass an IQ test to be in the senate and he meets
Jesus in a theme park!.I do not think that you would be offended if you are a Protestant,Catholic,Jew or Muslim.It is always good to shine a light on a subject no matter what it is and it should be okay to ask questions of it.This is a documentary that will get you thinking about religion and wondering about it.Mind you at the end Bill Maher makes his feelings very clear about religion and you probably know what they are already.I suspect that you will either love or hate this documentary depending on your point of view.I could not help but laugh at some of peoples views in this but I'm sure they might laugh at mine also.
This was an interesting subject to cover as not many people look at all types of religion but usually one of them.You will find some parts funny,some serious and others will have you thinking and talking about them.Bill Maher was not totally biased and gave a chance for everyone he met to debate the merits of what they believe.I would recommend you seeing this movie even to just get you thinking about religion and what someone who does not believe in it thinks about it.I agree with Bill Maher on this subject and as I do this gets a high mark.If you totally love your religion and are devoted to it you should still like this movie as it just asks questions of religion and I did not see bias or total mocking of it.As always please comment on your thoughts! Religulous (8/10)









er pal Pam(Baybi Day) who are getting it on together without Reno knowing. Carol wants him to finish his painting of a buffalo so that he can get some cash, but he refuses as he thinks that it takes as long as it takes. A rock band moves into the building and they play all hours of the night and day. This makes Reno go mental and he begins to kill homeless people with his cordless drill(like you do!).
Howorth). Needless to say, this drives poor Reno around the twist and he begins to get more psychotic(if that's possible!) He asks Briggs to dinner and he gets drilled and killed! Pam comes back to the apartment and sees what Reno has done and she is drilled too! As the end draws near, Reno breaks into Carol and Stephen's house and he drills Stephen while Carol is in the shower. The movie ends with Reno hiding in the bed while Carol comes out of the shower, thinking that it is her husband waiting for her. Little does she know that all that is waiting for her
is a DRILL!!!!!
American backpackers,David Kessler(David Naughton) and Jack Goodman(Griffin Dunne) travelling through the Yorkshire Moors when they are attacked by some large animal. Jack is killed but David escapes and he is taken to the hospital in London. He awakens, not remembering anything that happened. He is told of his friend's death. He gets a visit from poor, dead Jack and Jack tells him that he is now a werewolf as he was bitten by one on the moors. He tells David to kill himself before he turns into one and starts killing people.
naked. He hasn't been touched by the wolves and he has no memory of the night before.
ith him- the innocents that David slew the night before. They urge him to kill himself before more people are killed. David doesn't and he returns to his werewolf form again and kills more people. This time, he is seen by the police and chased through the streets of London where he is cornered. Alex arrives and tries to calm him down by telling him that she loves him. He seems to be responding to her when he lunges forward and the police shoot him dead. He returns to his human form as he dies in front of Alex.