Friday, September 23, 2022

Children Shouldn't Play With Dead Things Movie Review



Trailer here.


Children Shouldn't Play With Dead Things is a 1972 horror movie directed by Bob Clark and starring Alan Ormsby.

The film begins with a man who digs up a corpse. Cut to a group of people who are going to an island. They are actors and a man called Alan(Ormsby) is their leader. They go to a graveyard on the island and they hear noises. There are creatures watching them. The group heads to a cottage. Alan knows all about the island. The group are going to spend the night there. One of the group, Anya, wants to see a ghost. Alan has a chest full of satanic stuff and h e tells the group that they are his employees and that  they are going to summon to undead. He has a book of spells ready for the occasion. They go into the graveyard and they dig up a corpse. It attacks them but it's just a joke by Alan and two friends, Roy and Emerson.
 Alan does have a real corpse with him. He is the man who dug up the body at the start of the movie. The corpse is called Orville. The group use him in a ceremony. Alan wants to raise the dead. 


Alan summons Satan but nothing happens. He is disgusted and a woman called Val performs the rites instead. Everyone thinks it's a joke. Alan takes Orville back to the cottage. He doesn't realise it, but corpses are starting to rise, for real. Some of the group mess with Orville and others don't think that it is funny at all. One of them called Anja tells them that they shouldn't be messing with the corpse. She is upset by it. She is convinced that Orville is evil. Alan doesn't care. Roy and Emerson are the first to be attacked by the real undead. Alan is left alone by the others who are going to leave. They see what is left of Roy and he warns them. They see a horde of undead and they have to go back to the cottage and barricade themselves in.


A plan is needed. One of the group, Paul, says that he might be able to get past them. The others distract the reanimated while Paul sneaks out the back. He gets munched, though. The others are getting attacked. Alan searches for a counter spell to put the dead back into their graves. He chants some spell and it seems to work. The group run for the boat but the undead catch them. They get eaten alive. Alan and Anya are left. They go to the cottage but the zombies follow. Alan throws Anya to them and he locks himself into a bedroom. Orville reanimates and he  kills Alan. The rest of the horde go to the boat and set sail...


This is a weird film and a very cheaply made one. There are some interesting moments in it and it is well made for such a low budget film. Bob Clark is responsible for this and he also directed Black Christmas. This isn't as good as that film but it is worth a look because it is considered a cult classic. I will give it 5/10,

Sunday, September 18, 2022

Terror on Tour Movie Review



Trailer here.

Terror on Tour is a 1980 horror movie directed by Don Edmonds and starring Larry Thomas.

The film revolves around a KISS style rock group who are known for their antics onstage.
They paint their faces and they are very wild. A woman is killed at one of their shows by someone who is dressed like a member of the band. The police come to investigate. The band members don't seem to worry about it and they continue to party and do the same things as they always do. The killer has a big knife and he is wandering around backstage. Two more girls meet their deaths at his hands. The police come back and they think that a member of the group is the killer. Tim(Thomas) is the band's manager and he tries to get the police off their backs.


The police decide to send in a girl to mix with the band and to draw out the killer. A guy called Herb is the make up artist for the group. He dresses up as a member of the group. He seems dodgy. Then there is Jeff who is a roadie. He is also a suspect. Jeff gets fired and he isn't happy about it. More girls die and the band have to take it seriously. They talk to each other and they trust that it isn't one of them. The undercover girl ends up meeting the killer, but he doesn't get her. She runs off. He chases her and she hides from him. The lieutenant who is investigating the case is backstage looking for the killer. He finds him but unfortunately, the killer stabs him.


The undercover girl emerges, thinking that she can escape, but the killer is after her. She manages to find the lieutenant who is in a bad way. She takes his gun and looks for the exit. The killer catches and stabs her. The killer is revealed to be Jeff. Herb sees him and Jeff explains that he had to kill the girls as they were whores and sluts. They had no morals. He comes for Herb next. Herb runs onto the stage where the band are playing. They stop playing. Jeff jumps at Herb and he stabs him. The movie ends with Jeff shouting 'No' at the crowd.


I think that this could have been an entertaining film, but it just wasn't. I didn't like it much. It was a bit boring, bland and too cheaply made. I couldn't tell one character from the other and I was just tired of it by the time it ended. It is a shame as I did like the premise. It just had bad actors and the story was not as good as it could have been. It is worth a look if you are a fan of 80's slashers, but you have been warned. I will give it a 3/10.
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