Saturday, February 6, 2010

Albino Farm Movie Review 100






Albino Farm stars WWE star Chris Jericho and Home and Away babe Tammin Sursok. It is directed by Joe Anderson and Sean McEwen.

The movie begins with the old cliche of four kids driving to visit The Orzak Mountains. They are interested in local legends etc for their college course. They come upon a small town called Shiloh and they realise that the town is very different. They wander around the town and they hear about a local legend  which revolves around a place called Albino Farm. They meet some local yokels who promise to show them where it is if one of the guys, Brian(Nick Richey) gets his girlfriend,Melody(Alicia Lagano) to flash them. She obliges.The kids get into the car with the locals. The other two, Stacey(Tammin Sursok) and Sanjay(Sunkrish Bala) have a look around the town.


Stacey and and Sanjay meet some of the locals and they ask them about the Albino Farm. They get a frosty response and then they see an old lady with a baby and they freak out. There is something not right here. Brian and Melody are in the car with two yokels who are playing heavy metal music and laughing and Chris Jericho(pictured below) is in the back with his bad teeth and weird hair! They reach the Albino Farm finally and the locals let t hem off outside it. Melody and Brian are left alone there. Stacey and Sanjay find out from some kid that the other two are at the Albino Farm and they get the kid to lead them there which he does.



Brian gets his leg caught in a trap and Melody has to go got help . She bumps into the other two and they go back to find Brian but he has gone. He wakes up in a shack and he is tied up with weirdos dancing around him. They are not what you would call attractive and the woman one wants him for herself......He rejects her and she tortures him. The other three look for him and they find bones hanging from a tree and Melody runs off on her own(clever!). She gets killed by the mutants. Sanjay and Stacey come to a shack and they find Brian who is dead. The weirdos come back and attack them and chase them. They catch them and sew their arms together. The two kids try to get away and they are chased by the whole weirdo clan. They have to pull apart much to their horror and they do with much pain. They are trying to get away when Sanjay falls and can't go on so he tells her to blow the whole place up with the cylinders  of propane which happen to be handy! She blows up the cave and destroys the mutants. She wanders to the local church tent and finds the whole town there. They are all mutants so she just laughs and the movie ends..Here's a picture of Tammin for you to enjoy...


Not a bad horror movie. It was funny to see Chris Jericho as a hillbilly guy, but the movie was worth seeing anyway..I give this a 6/10.


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